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Archive for the ‘媽媽的大頭症’ Category

When the kids were little, I thought that I was taking care of them and having the total control of their lives. As they grow older, I haven’t changed, but they do. Constantly.

I notice that when I get impatient with S, she is also not happy with me. Unlike when she was little, any conflict between us can be easily solved with a hug and a kiss, she would shout down responding to me even I plead for forgiveness. Impatience is a bad habit of mine, but I need to learn and grow with my kids, so we can have healthy communication.

Yesterday, after dinner and exercising in my room, I heard the laughter from the kids’ rooms as they were playing with Auntie. They see Auntie about once or twice a week and every time she is here, they have fun. I was trying to think that what I did with them the night before- I can’t think of any. Our weekday routine after work: I am in the kitchen preparing dinner while N plays Lego in his room and S reads books in her room; after dinner, it’s their screen time; after screen time, it’s wash and brush time, and then they go to sleep. I really didn’t spend much time with them during weekdays.

I want to change that. Even though I need “Me" time after work, I know that I can spend at least 15 minutes with them- either is playing with them after dinner, or talk to them when they are ready for bed. So at least they have a “Mommy and Me" time everyday.

So my goal for tonight- let them have screen time while I preparing dinner, so we can play after dinner.

廣告

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2018

In 2018, I am:

  1. continuing to simply our life
  2. working toward not eating meat; as of 1/8/18, I am on a plant-based diet
  3. learning to make warm food with the instant pot
  4. learning to make delicious salad (as of 18/18, probably not as I like my food warm and restaurants have great salad sections.)
  5. 申請多一點圖書館證
  6. 一個月聽一本有聲書
  7. 一個月用水彩畫一張圖, 從youtube找靈感, 畫S的baking creation, 幫N完成他的畫作
  8. reducing our trash. working toward zero waste home

Currently:
13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do by Amy Morin (Audio Book)
Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang (Audio Book)
21-Day Weight Loss Kickstart: Boost Metabolism, Lower Cholesterol, and Dramatically Improve Your Health  by Neal Barnard (Paperback)


Wish List

Forks Over Knives  (Documentary)


已讀/ 聽

The Magnolia Story (Audio Book) finished 1/12

My Beloved World (Audio Book) 1/6
California Typewriter (Documentary) 1/6/’18

p.s. 如透過連結購買, 我會從Amazon得到小小的回饋金.
pps. 目前以上的有聲書我是從圖書館借的. 實體書則是透過二手書店購買.

My vision board. Made 1/13/18.

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2018/1/4

after 30-minute screen time….

N: I’m bored.

M: It’s okay to be bored. I want you to be bored.

N: You are mean. Why do you want me to be bored?

M: It doesn’t have to be exciting all the time…. (continue my explanation.) Do you want to play Marco Polo?

N: Yes

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Essential

如果要為2017年選個字, 我會選 Essential.

2017年是對大環境很沮喪卻又充滿希望的一年. 雖然對大選的結果很意外, 也迫使我看到一個從沒看過的世界. 一方面驚嘆居然有這樣的地方存在, 我也感受到, 大家也許說的做的支持的表現的不一樣, 我們要的都是一樣的.

Essential. Love. Peace. Family. Protection.

我依然不善於社交, 但我試著踏出自己的框框與人交流, 分享我感到熱情的事情, 也收到不錯的回應.

意外地在十二月中需要參加一個Memorial Service. 但也得以和美國的親戚相聚. 我很珍惜有這機會得與更了解我的家族.

2017年進入簡單生活的第二年. We are one house lighter .

一方面繼續簡單化家裡的物品, 一方面控管帶進家裡的東西. 遵守 “one in, one out" rule. 如果有增添東西(或衣服) 要把家裡的東西(至少)一樣淘汰. 在外面或網上就算看到心動的東西, 如果我沒辦法想到要拿哪個家裡的東西交換, 就不要購買. 我們不需要擁有所有喜歡的東西, 欣賞就好.

Looking forward 2018:

  1. continue to simply our life
  2. work toward not eating meat
  3. learn to make warm food with the instant pot
  4. learn to make delicious salad
  5. 申請多一點圖書館證
  6. 一個月聽一本有聲書
  7. 一個月用水彩畫一張圖, 從youtube找靈感, 畫S的baking creation, 幫N完成他的畫作
  8. reduce our trash. working toward zero waste home.

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開學以來, 小幫浦都睡自己房間偶爾周末會來跟我睡,弟弟在自己的房間和牛牛睡, 幾次問他們要不要來主臥室跟我睡, 他們都說不要。上星期姊姊去好朋友家參加生日會, 大家看了電影 Babe後她又跑來我房間睡了 (“I hate movies…. they are creepy." She said.) 然後不知道哪天, 弟弟也在我房間睡著.

於是這星期又開始三明治的睡覺. 知道他們越大我們越不可能這樣睡,我只想珍惜僅有的機會.

星期六早上,牛牛去Cream Pan買早餐, 我們三人在賴床. 弟弟畢竟是弟弟,閒不住地弄東弄西把我惹火了, 先是對他發脾氣, 突然想到下星期這時間我就沒辦法跟他們一起賴床, 我跟他說只想珍惜這段時間, 講著講眼淚就掉下來. 弟弟看著我, 似懂非懂, 也流 下了眼淚.

我擁著他, 告訴他, 媽媽幾天就回來了.

想想幾個月前看到我哭他還無動於衷, 現在已經會感同身受, 看到我掉淚也跟著掉淚. 雖然不確定他的哭點跟我的哭點一不一樣, 確定的是,我眼中的baby漸漸長大了。


今天下午J來家裡babysit. 大男孩帶著小男孩玩得很好。想當初結婚時J才幾個月大, 現在已經是高中生能幫忙照顧小孩了.

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an year of simplifying

這一年感到最自豪的就是我們賣掉了rental property, 朝著debt free的目標前進

客廳因為弟弟的關係, 先是淘汰了沙發 (他會跳上跳下到一個我們覺得危險的程度), 又把電視放到車庫 (因為她電視時間到會耍賴吵著要繼續看, 想想也為難他了, 一個大大黑黑的螢幕一直提醒他要錯過了甚麼精彩的節目). 電視還是有得看,在筆電上看,看完闔上, out of sight, out of mine. 至於沙發, 本是想換小一點的, 發現寬敞的客廳也不錯, 在找到心動的之前就先空著當小孩們的室內運動場吧。

沒有電視, 全家看的多半是youtube- 弟弟想到甚麼就看甚麼, Paw Patrol 卡通, Ninjago玩劇廣告, 一兩年沒看的Bob the Builder又突然熱衷了起來. 姊姊喜歡看How to Cake It, Mr. Kate (我也愛看), Jojo Siwa (雖然她不肯承認), 還有iJustine.

我則喜歡看tiny house和van life.

雖然我們住的地方不算是tiny, 每次看不同人不同家庭的故事和影片, 都提醒了我, 需要的東西真的不多. 即使生活空間不大也能住得很舒適.這也是我期許自己能保持的, tiny house mentality, 只保留必須品, 只保留對生活有加值的東西 (add value.)

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  • 昨天小幫浦要看youtube, 網路突然卡卡的. 我告訴她, 晚上八點到九點間網路最慢因為很多人跟我們一樣在上網. 試著reload, 手機上的箭頭繞著圈轉阿轉, 我和小幫浦躺在地毯上唱著不成調的歌 “reload."  🙂
  • 發漏的部落格主最近成為新手媽媽, 看到她摸索小孩的作息和研究各樣嬰兒產品以及對自己生活的調整, 不禁想到十年前的自己.  那時候的自己, 對當母親有很重的責任感和期許, 覺得除了愛以外, 更要給小孩養成好習慣: 吃東西營養要均衡, 對她要公平不能溺愛, 要訓練她聽話和有禮貌, 讓她知道who’s the boss. 這十年來, 經歷了兩次流產體會到生命不是在我的控制中, 有弟弟後給了我震撼教育發現有小幫浦的那前五年我是有多幸運, 之後因為家人的事情讓我台灣美國兩地牽掛, 小幫浦進入preteen讓我意識自己的權威式教育需要調整 (已經為了弟弟調整). 生命一次次教導我的是, 耐性和謙卑.
  • 因為寫了這篇文章, 晚餐後當小幫浦在跟姑姑玩時, 我到弟弟房間. 他正在跟牛牛在地毯上做樂高. 我坐在他旁邊摟摟他, 他把頭偏向我這裡, 繼續做樂高. 樂高做著做, 他背對著我. 我看著他厚厚結實卻依然小小的肩膀. 好幸福~
  • 沒甚麼, 甘溫節前剛好看到這個TED Talk, 提醒了我, 珍惜當下. wanna play?

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